Apologies in advance for the ranty, whiny nature of this post. Also, apologies to any readers who are facebook friends with me and will probably have heard all this from my whiny/ranty status update.
It's not even 3PM yet and I'd had enough of the day. It all started at about 8.50am. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked at my phone to check what time it was, I was hit by the sick realisation that it was ten to nine. Ten. To. Nine. Any other day when the kids were off school, I'd be skipping and dancing round the house full of the joys of spings, singing the praises of my blessed children who let me sleep til a reasonable hour. But could the blessed children skip their 5Am routine on a day where we had nothing to do? Noooo. Of course not. It had to be on a day where they had swimming lessons, and need to leave to house at 9.30.
So. That gave me a whole 40 minutes to feed, water, wash, dress and comb 3 children, wash, dress and comb myself, feed the dog and let her outside, pack 2 swimming bags and get to the bus stop. Cue manic running round, pouring cereal into bowls, brushing hair, packing bags, feeding dog all at the same time (to quote a funny relative who I won't name, 'Do you want me to shove a broom up my backside and sweep the floor while I'm at it?'. The kids are lucky they didn't get cereal bowls full of dog food. We FINALLY made it out of the house 5 minutes late (after an outfit change for my son who had an accident...the joys of potty training).
So, once we get to the pool, I get the girls changed quickly and send them in. Now I have to entertain my son (who is too young to participate in lessons) for half an hour. Not a great problem, of course. Except he is in the MOTHER of bad moods this morning (perhaps due to the tumultuous morning we'd experienced) and was completely uncooperative. I decided to walk him to a nearby shop (he likes walking round shops, surprisingly- lots of shiny, exciting things!). On the way to the shop, I stepped in a humungous pile of dog mess, ruining my new shoes (the one day I don't wear leather shoes). My new cotton pumps are now ruined. After cleaning my feet up as best as I could, we go to collect the girls from swimming lessons. After they're dry and changed, my darling son decides he doesn't want to walk any more. Well, not only does he not want to walk, he doesn't want to do anything, except for go limp and lay on the floor, apparently. I had 2 bags of wet towels and swimsuits, a bag of stuff I bought from the shop, 2 other kids and a baby playing dead. I ended up sort of half dragging him along the floor out of the leisure centre and to the bus stop, where again, he lays on the floor refusing to move. As I'm asking him "Would you like me to leave you here, then?" (Obviously I wouldn't, but usually this prompts him to jump up saying 'No!' and follow me) my daughters teacher steps off the bus and sees me, in my unkempt state, threatening to leave my son lying on the floor playing dead, laden down with bags full of wet towels and a becrazed look in my eye. My sons replies "OK, see you later!"
So, after actually physically dragging my son onto the bus (which, of course, was absolutely packed- yay! A huge audience!) he once again lays on the floor, limbs splayed, refusing to move. Two old ladies thought it was hilarious and laughed between giving me sympathetic looks (God bless them for not judging me as a horrendous mother), but this only made him play up even more. I ended up picking him up and wedging him under my arm round his waist, much to his displeasure. I was at the point where I didn't actually give a damn about his pleasure anymore. We got off the bus at our stop, and this is how we marched home. Me with a toddler under my arm, a handbag over my shoulder, each hand full of carrier bags, and one shoe with poo on, stomping down the road, with a girl each side of me. Oh dear. I think I actually lived up to the name of crazy mother today.
After we get home, World War Three breaks out because my oldest daughter took a stick on tattoo that her younger sister had and stuck it on her own arm. Older daughter gets sent to her room, and amateur dramatics ensue ("Please, don't I deserve another chance? This is the worst day of my life! I might as well move to China because nobody would care anyway!") All because she was sent to her room.
Aaaaand now I have to clean my house from top to bottom, as we have mother in law coming for dinner tomorrow. I don't feel like cleaning now. I feel like laying on the sofa in a darkened room drinking gin straight from the bottle (I don't know why gin. I don't even like gin).
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts! *manic, tooth-bearing smile*
Crazy Mother x
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Hi again!
Hello there!
I haven't blogged for a year. Oops. Weird, because in real life, I have so much to say for myself. Too much, probably.
Well, we're all good. In the last few months, my eldest daughter has magically transformed from a 7 year old to a teenager (Magically=horrifically, terrifyingly, etc). Yep, she has Bieber Fever. She watches iCarly and all manner of other crap on the Disney channel. She sulks. Everything she and her friends aren't interested in is 'for babies'. Ah, what fun. I'm almost certain at her age I was still watching Rainbow and playing tea parties with teddy bears. Sometimes I wonder if this is really her, or she's just trying to keep up with her friends (for a number of weeks, she thought his name was Justin Beaver. It took every fibre of strength in my body to tell her it was actually 'Bieber'- too funny). She's also lost her 2 front teeth, which not only looks terribly cute, but gives her a lisp (which, much to her annoyance, I find utterly adorable).
Middle daughter is same as ever. Funny, grumpy, stubborn, but still a little sweetheart really. Alas, she's currently going through the toilet humour phase. She's inventing jokes related to or revolving around poo on a daily basis. I can't see her career as a stand up comedian taking off. I'm trying to steer her toward knock knock jokes (she still manages to turn it around to toilet humour though :/ ).
My son is HUGE now. The size of his 4 year old sister (who is, admittedly small for her age, but still). People are amazed that he's only 2. I think he still has a baby face, but I can sort of see their point. He reminds me of a gorilla. Not because he's hairy, but he looks like a tiny version of Mr Universe. He has really broad shoulders, skinny waist and hardly any baby fat on him. We're potty training at the moment, which means he's not worn pants for about a month. I'm concerned that he seems to be actually developing an aversion to pants (well, clothes in general, actually); stripping off at every available opportunity. Please reassure me that this is normal, and he's not going to grow up to be a nudist or a stripper (not that there's anything wrong with either, but family gatherings would be awkward for me, and 'Take your kid to work' day would be awkward for his hypothetical future kids). The potty training is going well. Better than I expected, actually (he's almost as stubborn as his older sister). Fingers crossed it continues that way!
We're decorating at the moment. This means we've stripped all the paper from the back room, having not yet decided what to replace it with. Husband and I have gotten as far as glossing all the woodwork, now we're up to the 'arguing about what to cover the walls' with phase. I will win. The kids get their stubborn streak from me.
Well, that was pretty mundane, but I've been sick, dosed up on medication and had weird sleeping patterns for three days, so I have brain fog. I'm going to start updating regularly again. I promise!
Crazy mother
I haven't blogged for a year. Oops. Weird, because in real life, I have so much to say for myself. Too much, probably.
Well, we're all good. In the last few months, my eldest daughter has magically transformed from a 7 year old to a teenager (Magically=horrifically, terrifyingly, etc). Yep, she has Bieber Fever. She watches iCarly and all manner of other crap on the Disney channel. She sulks. Everything she and her friends aren't interested in is 'for babies'. Ah, what fun. I'm almost certain at her age I was still watching Rainbow and playing tea parties with teddy bears. Sometimes I wonder if this is really her, or she's just trying to keep up with her friends (for a number of weeks, she thought his name was Justin Beaver. It took every fibre of strength in my body to tell her it was actually 'Bieber'- too funny). She's also lost her 2 front teeth, which not only looks terribly cute, but gives her a lisp (which, much to her annoyance, I find utterly adorable).
Middle daughter is same as ever. Funny, grumpy, stubborn, but still a little sweetheart really. Alas, she's currently going through the toilet humour phase. She's inventing jokes related to or revolving around poo on a daily basis. I can't see her career as a stand up comedian taking off. I'm trying to steer her toward knock knock jokes (she still manages to turn it around to toilet humour though :/ ).
My son is HUGE now. The size of his 4 year old sister (who is, admittedly small for her age, but still). People are amazed that he's only 2. I think he still has a baby face, but I can sort of see their point. He reminds me of a gorilla. Not because he's hairy, but he looks like a tiny version of Mr Universe. He has really broad shoulders, skinny waist and hardly any baby fat on him. We're potty training at the moment, which means he's not worn pants for about a month. I'm concerned that he seems to be actually developing an aversion to pants (well, clothes in general, actually); stripping off at every available opportunity. Please reassure me that this is normal, and he's not going to grow up to be a nudist or a stripper (not that there's anything wrong with either, but family gatherings would be awkward for me, and 'Take your kid to work' day would be awkward for his hypothetical future kids). The potty training is going well. Better than I expected, actually (he's almost as stubborn as his older sister). Fingers crossed it continues that way!
We're decorating at the moment. This means we've stripped all the paper from the back room, having not yet decided what to replace it with. Husband and I have gotten as far as glossing all the woodwork, now we're up to the 'arguing about what to cover the walls' with phase. I will win. The kids get their stubborn streak from me.
Well, that was pretty mundane, but I've been sick, dosed up on medication and had weird sleeping patterns for three days, so I have brain fog. I'm going to start updating regularly again. I promise!
Crazy mother
Saturday, 3 April 2010
I love my best friend.
I woke up this morning, looked around at how much I had to do, and wanted to cry (I've alot of cooking and cleaning to do for Easter tomorrow.). The girls were already moaning about being bored (at 8am! I'm barely awake at that time, they have the energy to be bored?!) and I envisioned a day ahead of cleaning/kids making mess/cleaning/kids making mess/me telling kids to clean some of their mess/kids cramming toys under their bed. Then my friend (Also know as Sweet Wonderful Angel sent from the Heavens) called me and asked would the girls like to go out for the day! Yeah! By 11AM, two-thirds of my children were out for the day. It's half past one, and I already have so much done! Woohoo! Oscar (my son) is being a good boy, too. He's currently sitting on the floor dismantling an aeroplane (not a real one. A toy he got for Christmas. I think he watched his dad put it together on Christmas morning and has decided it'd be fun to undo all that hard work. Oh well, it's keeping him occupied).
Right, I'm off be productive some more!
Laters,
Crazy Mother
Right, I'm off be productive some more!
Laters,
Crazy Mother
Friday, 2 April 2010
They're out in force!
Oh my. A spider the size of a small dog is hiding behind the sink pedestal n my bathroom. I hope I don't need to pee until Husband gets home from work. That's 4 hours away, and I just drank a huge mug of tea. Oh dear.
On the bright side, it may eat any moths/crane flies that manage to get in.
Crazy Mother
x
On the bright side, it may eat any moths/crane flies that manage to get in.
Crazy Mother
x
Mmmmm, pie.
Hi!
I didn't update my blog for months, and now I'm on a roll. This is so typical of me, though. I'm quiet for a while, then I start talking, and don't stop, and talk really really fast because I have so much stuff to cram into one sentence.
So, I baked a pie! And it was the most delicious pie since the dawn of time. It was beef, brown ale, shallots, and a concoction of other herbs and things. Mmm, it was sooo good. I know it'll be one of those recipes that everyone RAVES over, and it's so good I make it about 3 times a week for a month, then everyone will be sick of it and never want to look at another pie again. Still though, I love it when you make something that's just so delicious you have to call people and offer them the recipe. It's too good to not share. I'm thinking about starting a cooking blog, actually. I enjoy cooking alot, and it's one of the few things I'm good at (or so I'm told). And when I find or create a recipe that's great, I have somewhere I can share it, and maybe even get feedback. Hurrah! Yeah, I may start a cookery blog, when I get the time. I'll post my pie recipe on it. There are delicious pie leftovers in the fridge, however, today is Good Friday, which means no meat, so I can't eat it for lunch. Booo!
So, re my earlier Spring post. Yup, spring has most definitely sprung. How do I know, you ask? Because MOTHS ARE BACK!! I went to bed last night, switched on the bedroom light, and saw one of the winged beasts of doom flying agains my window, attempting to break into my room. I actually felt sick. Gone is the safe, insect-free cocoon of winter (reason #179 why I prefer winter over any other season). I hate most insects. I don't mind butterflys, ladybirds and caterpillars (I wouldn't want one on me, though) but moths are one of my most hated and most feared. Moths, crane flys (or Daddy Long Legs') and spiders. Crane flys are just Flying Spiders, so they're the worst out of the bunch, I think. At least you can run from a spider (then sleep on the couch for 4 nights because it escaped in your room and your dad couldn't find it to kill it. Umm...no, of course I didn't do that! What kind of a wimp do you think I am?). But crane flys? No, there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They'll find you. And they'll fly at you. Usually towards your hair. Urgh, I'm shuddering at the very thought. They are, single handedly, the reason why I almost boil to death every night in the summer; I never sleep with a window open, for fear that I'll wake up in a room full of crane flys (at least moths leave you alone if it's dark. Crane flys aren't fussy). I need to buy a net for the window, I think.
Tickling babies. Cruel, or funny? What if you tickle them till they pee themselves (which I suspect he does, given the amount he laughs. He wears a nappy though, so who knows?) What if they seem to enjoy it?
I just absolutely cannot resist tickling Baby. He laughs this funny little laugh, different to his usual laugh. Like a chuckle. He has the most ticklish shoulders EVAH. I creep up behind him and tickle them, and he rolls around on the floor chuckling until he can hardly breathe. When I walk away, he follows me, with a little nervous smile on his face, and his ticklish shoulders hunched up, waiting for me to do it again. The collapses into fits of laughter when I do. It's irresistable. I know how much I loathe being tickled, so I think 'Why are you acting like you want me to do it again? You can't possibly enjoy this.' But, he really does seem to. Weird baby. Adorable, but weird. And scruffy at the moment. He really needs a hair cut. I was planning on taking him today, but didn't realise the barbers was shut (Good Friday), and may be too busy to take him tomorrow. Ah well. We'll tell people hes going for the 'hobo chic' look.
Until next time,
Crazy Mother
x
I didn't update my blog for months, and now I'm on a roll. This is so typical of me, though. I'm quiet for a while, then I start talking, and don't stop, and talk really really fast because I have so much stuff to cram into one sentence.
So, I baked a pie! And it was the most delicious pie since the dawn of time. It was beef, brown ale, shallots, and a concoction of other herbs and things. Mmm, it was sooo good. I know it'll be one of those recipes that everyone RAVES over, and it's so good I make it about 3 times a week for a month, then everyone will be sick of it and never want to look at another pie again. Still though, I love it when you make something that's just so delicious you have to call people and offer them the recipe. It's too good to not share. I'm thinking about starting a cooking blog, actually. I enjoy cooking alot, and it's one of the few things I'm good at (or so I'm told). And when I find or create a recipe that's great, I have somewhere I can share it, and maybe even get feedback. Hurrah! Yeah, I may start a cookery blog, when I get the time. I'll post my pie recipe on it. There are delicious pie leftovers in the fridge, however, today is Good Friday, which means no meat, so I can't eat it for lunch. Booo!
So, re my earlier Spring post. Yup, spring has most definitely sprung. How do I know, you ask? Because MOTHS ARE BACK!! I went to bed last night, switched on the bedroom light, and saw one of the winged beasts of doom flying agains my window, attempting to break into my room. I actually felt sick. Gone is the safe, insect-free cocoon of winter (reason #179 why I prefer winter over any other season). I hate most insects. I don't mind butterflys, ladybirds and caterpillars (I wouldn't want one on me, though) but moths are one of my most hated and most feared. Moths, crane flys (or Daddy Long Legs') and spiders. Crane flys are just Flying Spiders, so they're the worst out of the bunch, I think. At least you can run from a spider (then sleep on the couch for 4 nights because it escaped in your room and your dad couldn't find it to kill it. Umm...no, of course I didn't do that! What kind of a wimp do you think I am?). But crane flys? No, there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They'll find you. And they'll fly at you. Usually towards your hair. Urgh, I'm shuddering at the very thought. They are, single handedly, the reason why I almost boil to death every night in the summer; I never sleep with a window open, for fear that I'll wake up in a room full of crane flys (at least moths leave you alone if it's dark. Crane flys aren't fussy). I need to buy a net for the window, I think.
Tickling babies. Cruel, or funny? What if you tickle them till they pee themselves (which I suspect he does, given the amount he laughs. He wears a nappy though, so who knows?) What if they seem to enjoy it?
I just absolutely cannot resist tickling Baby. He laughs this funny little laugh, different to his usual laugh. Like a chuckle. He has the most ticklish shoulders EVAH. I creep up behind him and tickle them, and he rolls around on the floor chuckling until he can hardly breathe. When I walk away, he follows me, with a little nervous smile on his face, and his ticklish shoulders hunched up, waiting for me to do it again. The collapses into fits of laughter when I do. It's irresistable. I know how much I loathe being tickled, so I think 'Why are you acting like you want me to do it again? You can't possibly enjoy this.' But, he really does seem to. Weird baby. Adorable, but weird. And scruffy at the moment. He really needs a hair cut. I was planning on taking him today, but didn't realise the barbers was shut (Good Friday), and may be too busy to take him tomorrow. Ah well. We'll tell people hes going for the 'hobo chic' look.
Until next time,
Crazy Mother
x
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Enough! I'm leaving!
The Great British Weather has driven me to the end of my tether. I need a holiday. I've spent the day trawling various travel agent websites and hotel review sites, trying to snap up a good deal. I'm not particularly fussy; as long as I have sun, sea, sand and halfway decent food, I'm happy. I didn't realize how decidedly UNfussy I was, however, until I started reading hotel reviews. I had no idea that a cracked tile in a shower cubicle is enough to completely ruin one's entire holiday. Seriously. The whole week, ruined. Because of a cracked tile. The holiday goers were so aghast and horrified at this cracked tile, that they felt compelled to take several photos of the offending tile and post them with the review. Other funny complaints were: ants in the entertainment room (with accompanying photos of said ants), only THREE chairs on the balcony (not sure how many is the standard amount of chairs there should be, but whatever), the tomatoes on the buffet were too wet (?), and the chips were too thin. I honestly, truly believe that some people enjoy complaining. I don't mean like having a good whine every now and again (because who doesn't?) I mean actually strive to find things to complain about. Who goes on holiday and takes photos of cracked tiles and measures the chips?! I ask you.
I'm so sick of rain and sleet and cold. It's spring, almost Easter, and we're getting sleet, for crying out loud! Some parts of the country are knee deep in snow. I like snow and cold, in winter when we're supposed to be getting it. I'd like a little sunshine now. So, I'm determined to book a family holiday, so at least we have that to look forward to if we have crappy weather in summer (which, knowing the UK, we probably will). The kids had an absolute ball on holiday last year, and Majorca was just perfect for them (so much to do, and the beaches were great) so we may go again this time.
I'm thinking of getting a new look. I like being a redhead and all, but I get bored so, so quickly. I'm tired of looking at it now. I'll most likely go back to blonde, as I look washed out with brown hair (I've never known someone to not suit their natural colour as much as me. Seriously, I look like I've been dug up). I'm also thinking of getting a fringe and/or some choppy hairy bits round the front. I can envision what I want, I just have trouble putting it into words. I'd best find a picture to take to the salon with me. If I go in and ask for choppy hairy bits on the front of my face, I'll come out looking like Cousin It.
That's all of todays ramblings, I think. Oh, Baby's learned to say 'What?'. When you call his name, he replies 'What?'. Too funny.
Until next time,
Crazy Mother x
I'm so sick of rain and sleet and cold. It's spring, almost Easter, and we're getting sleet, for crying out loud! Some parts of the country are knee deep in snow. I like snow and cold, in winter when we're supposed to be getting it. I'd like a little sunshine now. So, I'm determined to book a family holiday, so at least we have that to look forward to if we have crappy weather in summer (which, knowing the UK, we probably will). The kids had an absolute ball on holiday last year, and Majorca was just perfect for them (so much to do, and the beaches were great) so we may go again this time.
I'm thinking of getting a new look. I like being a redhead and all, but I get bored so, so quickly. I'm tired of looking at it now. I'll most likely go back to blonde, as I look washed out with brown hair (I've never known someone to not suit their natural colour as much as me. Seriously, I look like I've been dug up). I'm also thinking of getting a fringe and/or some choppy hairy bits round the front. I can envision what I want, I just have trouble putting it into words. I'd best find a picture to take to the salon with me. If I go in and ask for choppy hairy bits on the front of my face, I'll come out looking like Cousin It.
That's all of todays ramblings, I think. Oh, Baby's learned to say 'What?'. When you call his name, he replies 'What?'. Too funny.
Until next time,
Crazy Mother x
Sunday, 28 March 2010
I'm a terrible blogger.
Sorry it's been over three months since I updated. I know, I know, I'm rubbish.
So, spring has sprung! We've had some glorious weather the past couple of days. I hope it lasts! Especially as we enter the first week of...*dramatic music* EASTER HALF TERM HOLIDAYS!!! 2 weeks of all three kids at home. If it rains, I don't know what I'll do. Plan some indoor activities, I suppose. And maybe start drinking in the afternoons. Still, there's only so much painting/cutting/sticking/drawing you can do! And limited board games a three year old can play (and zero board games an 18 month old can play). I guess I could spend the holidays teaching the kids to play Trivial Pursuit. At least I'd win every time. Har har.
Seriously though, the girls' school have some fantastic activities planned for the half term for kids of all ages, so we'll be spending alot of time there. Loads of sporty activities, which I'm hoping will tire Baby out. Seriously, he thinks he's Spiderman. His latest expeditions involve climbing the towering heights of Mount Computerdesk and jumping up and down on the printer, Climbing on the back of the couch and jumping off (miraculously, landing on his feet) and attempting to stand on top of the TV (we have a flatscreen. Good luck with that). Why can't he be content with playing with a spoon or rummaging under the couch for stuff to eat, like he used to be? Everyone told be baby boys were more placid and quiet than baby girls. Err, WRONG. My daughters, while admittedly never quiet, were at least lazy. They never bothered trying to climb on the back of the couch, they simply didn't care enough to bother. On the plus side, I'll probably lose about 20lbs running around trying to prevent him from killing himself. Bonus!
Bye for now,
Crazy Mother
x
So, spring has sprung! We've had some glorious weather the past couple of days. I hope it lasts! Especially as we enter the first week of...*dramatic music* EASTER HALF TERM HOLIDAYS!!! 2 weeks of all three kids at home. If it rains, I don't know what I'll do. Plan some indoor activities, I suppose. And maybe start drinking in the afternoons. Still, there's only so much painting/cutting/sticking/drawing you can do! And limited board games a three year old can play (and zero board games an 18 month old can play). I guess I could spend the holidays teaching the kids to play Trivial Pursuit. At least I'd win every time. Har har.
Seriously though, the girls' school have some fantastic activities planned for the half term for kids of all ages, so we'll be spending alot of time there. Loads of sporty activities, which I'm hoping will tire Baby out. Seriously, he thinks he's Spiderman. His latest expeditions involve climbing the towering heights of Mount Computerdesk and jumping up and down on the printer, Climbing on the back of the couch and jumping off (miraculously, landing on his feet) and attempting to stand on top of the TV (we have a flatscreen. Good luck with that). Why can't he be content with playing with a spoon or rummaging under the couch for stuff to eat, like he used to be? Everyone told be baby boys were more placid and quiet than baby girls. Err, WRONG. My daughters, while admittedly never quiet, were at least lazy. They never bothered trying to climb on the back of the couch, they simply didn't care enough to bother. On the plus side, I'll probably lose about 20lbs running around trying to prevent him from killing himself. Bonus!
Bye for now,
Crazy Mother
x
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